Goodbye Sweet Cas

My heart feels empty today. My year of losses continues. Yesterday, November 12^th, our very old gelding Casanova crossed the Rainbow Bridge. In some ways, it was truly a blessing for Cas, as winter freezing temperatures were again approaching and we had so much trouble with his weight and keeping him warm enough last year. The day before yesterday our ranch manager Jeannie called to say that Cas looked "very bad" so I called the vet who asked us to bring him over immediately. For those of you who knew us in California, he looked alarmingly like Nutmeg did on that day of horror for me. After David (the vet) looked at him he told us that Cas had suffered a stroke that morning and the stroke had put a lot of pressure on his poor old heart. He did, however, say that he has seen some great comebacks from using the intravenous fluids used to lessen the brain swelling of a stroke, and that often the heart murmurs being caused by the stroke itself will get better with this fluid as well. He said if Cas were his, he would give the fluid a 6 hour try and then go from there. So that is what we did.

Sure enough, after about seven hours, Cas rallied and even ate some hay. So we agreed he should stay there overnight and we would take a look again in the morning. When Van and I went to check on him yesterday morning he did not look good. But at least he gave me the opportunity to come back and sing him his song which I had forgotten to do the day before. So I sang to him and was pleased by how much his eyes perked up and his ears turned to me. I kissed him a bunch, gave him all his favorite scritches, and told him we will always love him and that he was such a good boy (he was not a huge fan of treats, having had to be taught by me what they were in the first place!). I also thanked him for sharing his last couple of years with us just being a horse.

When we got home David called. He had seen us out there and opted to wait, knowing how I am ;-\. He said that just that morning (when we saw Cas it was obvious something had just been done due to the fresh bandages around his neck) they had scoped Cas because even though he was eating, everything was coming right back out his nose. What he found was a very large malignant tumor at the base of Casanova's esophagus. So we all said our goodbyes and let Cas go peacefully and relatively happy still.

Some of you may not know the story of how we got him. Briefly, we had just moved here really, and had just gotten Freckles and Casper back from the former owner, which gave us one trail horse. We did not yet own Peaches. So if Van and I wanted to ride together, we still needed another rideable horse. We discovered that Jeannie's mother was about to take her old quarter horse gelding to the auction because he was now too tall for her to feel comfortable re-mounting away from the barn. She said he was about 25. I begged Van to buy that horse for two reasons: 1) I did not want any horse I had ever met to go through an auction; and 2) he was a bombproof trail horse and as sweet as they come. The white saddle sores and roping marks on Cas told the story of his earlier life and yet he was truly so trusting and sweet with us always. We also (through no fault of Jeannie's mother as she was just as surprised as we were) found out last winter when dealing with his weight that he was likely several years older than we had originally thought. So 30 years old is actually probably a young estimate of his age.

So Van, being so good to me as he is at times like this, bought Casanova, who eventually became Van's trail horse. In fact, Peaches was supposed to be Van's ride and Casanova mine. But Van preferred Casanova's ride. In other words, Cas spent his senior years hanging out with other horses, getting loved on, getting all his favorite scritches nearly every day, getting fed all kinds of things as we all worried about him, and being ridden once every six months for about an hour. It was clear that he enjoyed being with his horse and human friends, but that once every six months was about as much as he should do in terms of riding. Every now and then, he got his favorite thing in the world which was to be taken out and groomed by two or more women! His name was Casanova because he definitely preferred the females (both human and equine). For a while, he was Peaches' beau but Peaches ruined that when she would steal all of his food.

He had the most adorable, cute little mouffie (mouth) in the entire world. You can't see it very well in this photo, nor can you see how he had such incredibly sweet eyes and always looked at you as if to say "is this all right?. You also can't see how his stripe was significantly raised compared to the brown, so I always scritched his forehead right there. I've been going through some of the photos and will be posting more here or elsewhere later. In the meantime, here is the first, simple memorial to him.

It coincidentally happened that yesterday afternoon I received an email update on the Bluebonnet Equine Humane Society, who are having another "virtual horse show" this month. One of the categories of competition is called "Antique Horses" and is available only to those 20 years and older. I have sponsored this class in Casanova's honor. The entry fees for this very informal, but lots more fun, horse show are $5.00 per photo entered. If anyone is so inclined to enter their senior horse, please do so. I think Casanova would like this show. He always seemed a little bewildered at first by the camera, but soon learned it made me very happy to point this odd contraption at him, and so he decided he liked it too.

BTW, the #8 class in the show is Mules and Donkeys. I have sponsored that class in honor of Pooh Bear. I KNOW Pooh Bear would get a kick out of this contest and is pleased with me sponsoring in his name. Those of you who knew him know Pooh loved nothing better than when everyone is having a good time. Everyone is invited to enter this for fun show which benefits a very good and very much-needed equine rescue. The address is: http://www.bluebonnetequine.org/virtualshow/november2008show.htm

As always, I find this decision making to be among the most difficult I will ever face in all my life, and fervently hope I make the correct one each time. You may be aware of my connection with the welfare of horses, and know that I believe, and Dr. Guitar understands – which is why we like him so much – that the decision must not be made for human convenience or desires, but rather should be the choice that individual would make himself if only he could tell us. This one was more difficult than any of the others I have had to make because Cas was not in immediate danger of dying. However, he had clearly moved from a state of liveliness and happiness (even though he could not keep on weight) to one of much discomfort and difficulty with simply eating, along with some neck pain which, Dr. Guitar assures me, would have moved quickly to extreme pain within hours. Knowing that the size of the tumor barred surgery, we all together made the decision at what we believe was the right time for Cas; and the time that Cas himself hopefully would have chosen.

This power we wield – the power of life and death – over these lives entrusted to our care is a frightening one. Nutmeg and Pooh Bear (even Teddy) had very quick, very extreme, downhill slides which made the correct choice self-evident. In fact, none of the three of them had any choice at all. I have mentioned to some that I had a feeling about Cas for the last several days. I hope very much it was because he had been telling me goodbye. We can have a reasonable amount of belief that a majority of beings do know as their time approaches, often before anyone around sees it. Cas was a realist, not so much an idealistic fighter. Though Dr. Guitar was not offering any heroic options I don't believe the personality that Cas was would have wanted them anyway. He had had a very good last couple of years. Who knows? Maybe one of the others told him about the approaching move and he did not want to leave this ranch where he had known love (not just from me and Van but also from Jeannie and her family, not least of all her mother Barbara).

If you would, when you think of Cas, or Pooh, or Nutmeg or Teddy or any of the friends each of us has lost, please try to give any small amount you can afford to the HSUS or one of the many deserving "one-man-show" rescues who are far from one-man-shows, such as Bluebonnet Equine (www.bluebonnetequine.org) or the one you have all heard me speak about many times, Peaceful Valley Donkey Rescue (www.Donkeyrescue.org). For those of you with a more scientific bent there is the American Association of Equine Practitioners at www.AAEP.org. I suggest this last organization and the HSUS because both are a potential source of funding for my own future research.

I believe I see the lessons I have learned, and how they may help others, in the many losses I have had this year, especially my father. But can it please be over now???

(I want to, here, post the lyrics to his song, but he's one of the ones who truly created his "own" song in that the melody is not based on any song I know of. It just kind of popped out one day while I was brushing him. So it will unfortunately not be a sing-along. You'll just have to have heard me sing it to him (Christy) or just imagine it.

Casanova's song

CHORUS:

Casanova, Casanova he's a romancing horsey,
Who must think he's still a stallion 'cause he loves the mares you see

He does make the perfect mount
for the man who owns the ranch
'cause he's old and he is slow
and he does not like to dance

He has got the perfect mate
and she's sure nobody's fool
She is beautiful and smart
that's because she is a mule

CHORUS:

Casanova was so sad
'cause he did not have a song
but today he's got this one
and it is not very long

All the rest of them have one
and now Cas has his own tune
he's a simple Quarter Horse
but we think he hung the Moon!

CHORUS

Repeat as long as desired. Random new verses are also allowed. Best when accompanied by new lessons on carrot eating or while grooming.